A divorce does not happen overnight.
Haven’t you heard these stories before?
“We were together for 10 years, I was quite unhappy during the last three years of being with her.”
“My wife just came to me one day and said that she didn’t want to continue our life together anymore, and that something was really wrong with our relationship.”
“After getting married my job forced me to be separated from my husband in a 4 month period. A year after tying the knot we filed for divorce.”
“I started thinking about separation since 2001. It took me 5 years to verbalize it to her. I was surprised that it was that quick to say it and I immediately moved out of our apartment a week later.”
Noticeably, there is no such thing as a one-size fits all conclusion to the breakdowns seen in this union. But why do couples split up after so much time together? And how can you prevent this from happening in your marriage? Below is a list of reasons why a couples file for a divorce.
1. Being Unprepared For a Life of Marital Union
Some couples are not prepared for marriage. They blame the demise of their relationship for not being prepared for married life. Divorce is high especially during after the first seven years, hence, the term, the seven year itch. This suggests that happiness in a relationship declines after around year seven of a marriage.
2. Abuse
Another highly contributing cause to divorce rate is abuse. The abuse may start in little ways. Beginning with nasty comments and insults and will progressed finally to physical abuse after. Counselling is a great help but what if the promises to never hit her again will only continue to happen?
3. Couples Grow Apart
Do you constantly have nothing to say to each other? Are both of you looking at your phones? Are you really in a stage wherein there is nothing left to say to each other? Being indifferent to each other leads both of you to lose the spark and instead drift apart.
4. The Avoidance of Solving Problems
Couples tend to find a sort of distraction to avoid the troubles that comes in a marital union. They try to self-medicate individually. One will bury himself in a book while the other constantly just gazes on the television. If both of you will not take notice of what is going on around you, you will find yourselves facing each other in divorce court.
5. Intimacy Has Taken a Downward Spiral
Is intimacy a thing of the past in your marriage? Living in a marriage with a continuing decline in physical affection will lead to a doomed relationship. Your partner will realize that you are no longer showing concern for that emotional bond of being a husband and wife.
As a parting shot, a couple’s conflict revolves around two things: events that happened in the past and things that will happen in the future. Each spouse has his or her own brand of coping skills and sometimes too much begging and blaming and shaming will only fan the flame of the problem. Learn to handle each challenging situation carefully and stop pushing your spouse further away from you.
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